HOLLYWOOD HIJINX By The Boatman All right, sports fans, first a word about Hollywood Hijinx and solves in general. Hollywood Hijinx is a small and somewhat easy game, but exciting all the same. This solve, and most all "solves," take you step-by-step through the game to its conclusion. I would suggest, especially for this game, that you try to solve it yourself before consulting this, or, if you really need help, have a friend read the file and give you the help you need. Now, on to the solve... As you begin in the south junction, you notice a life-sized statue of Buck Palace. In the documentation there is a poem with three movie title s in it. The titles, in order, are "Fastest Blender in the West", "Cannibal Buffet of the East", and "Vampire Penguins of the North." If you turn the statue west, east, and then north, there will be a click from the north and the front door will be unlocked. There is nothing else interesting you can do with the statue. Go north and, if you like, take the things in the mailbox and examine them. The business card gives a hint as to what order you should insert the punch cards into the computer you will find in the house. The yellow paper will, if the thin paper in the dining room is placed on top of it, reveal the way to get to the place where the rubber stamp is buried in the hedge maze. The Status Line's only purpose is to credit Dave Anderson's "Imps" who helped to write the game. Go north again, entering the house, and turn the flashlight on. Take the green punch card. The first thing I checked, and the first thing you should, is the closet. Open the closet door and enter the closet, taking the bucket and the skis. Then pull the third peg and the door will slam shut and the closet will shake. Open the door and exit, and you will be on the second floor. Turn the unusual newel and there will be a click - this will allow navigation of the stairs, whereas before, if you tried climbing the stairs, they would fold into a ramp and you'd fall back down. Wile you are upstairs, go east and south and get the punch card underneath the bath mat. Go north, east twice, and take the sack. You won't be able to get it, but you will hold onto it. Open the window, take the sack, and open the sack. Take the Maltese finch and go west. Get back into the closet and pull the second peg. Leave the closet here for awhile, this is a good place for it. Go north into the foyer and north again into the game room. The scale model of Tokyo is actually a motorized game. Press the green button and the dog under the glass will move east. Tank and planes will come out to assail him. Press the green button again and then press the black button. This will crush one of the tanks. Press it again, eliminating the other, and then press the white button twice, destroying both planes. Press the green button again until the dog enters the park. When this happens, a truck will appear and fire a guided missile at wonder dog. You can fry the missile by pressing the red button, which will cause fire to shoot out of the dog's mouth, but don't, as he can only breathe fire three times and you need all three. Press the green button again and then the black one, crushing the truck and eliminating the guidance system of the missile. Press the blue button, which will cause the dog to get the ring, and then press the green button until the dog bumps its snout up against the plastic dome. Press the red button three times and his breath will melt a hole in the plastic. Get the ring. Congrats, you have your first treasure! Drop it. You can drop all treasures as soon as you get them, just be sure to get them. Also, despite to footsteps and other eerie sounds, all items you drop will remain where they were put, so if you're overloaded, drop something and come back for it later. Go east twice and get the yellow punch card. Then go south and put the slide in the slide projector, film in the film projector, remove the lens cap and drop it, and turn the slide projector on. The result is blurred, turn the slide projector lens and this will sort itself out into much clearer garbage. Turn the film projector on and read the screen. Remember the song mentioned, and go north and west four times. Get the matchbox, open it, and get the red match. Go east and then south. Here, examine the statuettes (actually candles) in the order red, white, and blue. Write down or remember the hand and number of fingers in order. Then go east twice and look behind the painting, getting the punch card that falls when you move the painting. Turn the dial in the direction that the red statuette had its hand raised (if it had it right hand raised, turn it right) to the number of fingers that the red statuette had raised (if it had nine fingers up, turn it to nine.) Repeat this for white and blue, and the safe should open. If not, check to see if you put the correct order in. In the safe is a cheese grater, a treasure. Take it and go east. Play the song which you were instructed to play, and push the piano north. Go down and south and remove the dirty pillar. Drop the pillar, then go north and up and push the piano to the south twice. The floor will shift and the previously block passageway will be accessible. Go down and north, taking the meter. Then go south, up, and west three times. Enter the fireplace and remove the brick, taking the punch card which is revealed. You're now able to climb up, so do so until you're on the roof. Go east and down and take the penguin. Then go back up, east, and down until you reach the bottom. Then, exit the fireplace and go east and north. Unlock the door, open it, go north, and get the orange punch card. Go south, west twice, and down. Open the closet door and enter the shaft. The closet isn't here, but take the blue punch card. Then go back the the cellar and turn the computer on. Insert the cards in the order red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Read the display and remember the phone number shown. Go up, east, and south, and call the number. Aunt Hildegarde will lie to you. Go north, west, and down, and look in the hopper. Get Uncle Buddy's toupee. Go back up, east twice, north twice, and northwest. Be sure you have the red match and the bucket before you leave the house. Go northeast and north twice, entering the hedge maze. Your map will direct you through this complex maze. The directions are: W.N.W.N.W.S.W.W.N.W.S.E.S.E.N.E.S.W.N.W.S.W.N.W.S.W N.E.N.E.N.E.E.N.E.S.E.E.S.E.N.E.N.E.S.W.S.W.S.E.N.W.S Dig in the ground and take the stamp. Reverse the directions to get out, or, for those of you who are real thick... N.E.S.W.N.E.N.E.N.W.S.W.S.W.N.W.W.N.W.S.W.W.S.W.S.W S.E.N.E.S.E.N.E.S.E.N.W.S.W.N.W.N.E.S.E.E.N.E.S.E.S.E Then simply go south to exit. Go east and north. Take the cannon ball and put it in the cannon. Light the match and light the fuse with that. Open the compartment and take the catcher's mask. Then go east, west, and south. Fill the bucket with water, and move quickly from now until you get to the attic. Go southeast, southwest and south three times. Enter the closet, hang the bucket on the third peg, and go north and up. Open the closet door and go south to top of closet. In a little while, the closet will go up and you can go north into the attic. Open the panel and then the chest, taking the hydrant. Go down twice and north. Only one treasure remains: anyone who has looked over the documentation could guess it. It's the film "A Corpse Line". Make sure you have a statuette and the skis, drop the flashlight, and go north, east, north and east. Wear the skis and go down. Get the match and light the statuette WITH THE FIRE, not the match. Put wax on the match, waterproofing it, and extinguish the statuette. Remove the skis, drop them, and go south and west. Enter the water, and go down twice, west, and up twice. Then go north and light the match. Use the match to light the statuette and go north again and up. Raise the left end of the plank and pull the chain. Burn the rope with the statuette and get on the right end of the plank. After you catapult above, get the ladder and drop it into the hole. The enter the hole yourself, get the ladder, and hang it on the hooks. Turn the dial left to 4, right to 5, and left to 7 (This was derived from the plaque, which said "LEVY, REGAN, LEBLING." The L's and R's are for left and right, and the numbers come from the number of letters in each name.) Take the reel and - lo and behold - the chipped peg and the note. Go up return to the house (up, east, south, west, and south), taking the flashlight and extinguishing the statuette. Then go south and up, enter the closet, and (right now would be a golden opportunity to save the game) insert the chipped peg in the hole. You immediately fall several storied, dropping all you have, and land in the prop room, where Cousin Herman is bent over a buzz saw on which Aunt Hildegarde's conveyor belt is moving her toward. Grab props and attack Herman until you finally find one that isn't a prop. Herman will fall. Stop the buzz saw, and you have won the game. Another interesting thing to do is to play to die. Try to jump across the gap in the stairs, try to ski down the cliff, and - don't miss this one - watch "A Corpse Line" in the screening room. I hope that you enjoyed the game, and really hope that this solve didn't ruin your enjoyment. Look for upcoming solves on upcoming games...maybe even for another one such as this, as I think I smell a sequel..